WHERE are they getting this stuff !!
Instead of: “There is more than one way to skin a cat.”
Say: “There is more than one way to build a house.”
Instead of: “Kill two birds with one stone.”
Say: “Bathe two birds in one birdbath.”
Instead of: “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
Say: “How do you plant a forest? One seed at a time.”
Let’s work to remove the casual violence from our everyday speech, friends.
i found the vegan
Aasif Mandvi interviews Fox Business commentator, Todd Wilemon.
"Why are you poor? Stop being poor. Be rich like me!" - Fox News commentators, GOP congressmen, and late night informercials on real estate flipping.
GoT/ASOIAF meme - (1/5 prophecies)
Patchfaces Red Wedding prediction
a spirit that preys on the insecurities of young girls. on approaching one, it whispers venomously backhanded compliments, and delivers unneeded, often damaging advice in order to undermine the girl’s confidence and control her so that she may be devoured easily by the spirit.
the best way to ward it off is to appear unfazed by its insidious manipulations and stare directly into its great, luminous eyes until it gets uncomfortable and leaves.
my urge to to draw monsters and the sheer, uncomfortable quantity of images on my dashboard of a certain pair of terrifyingly wide blue eyes collided iN AN INSPIRINGLY HORRIBLE WAY I AM REALLY SORRY
If you read any 17th century diplomatic missive today, make sure it’s the Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV of the Ottoman Empire. Basically, the Sultan was like, “I command you to surrender to my army,” and then the Cossacks were all:
O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil’s kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can’t slay a hedgehog with his naked ass? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we’ve no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck your mother.
You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, Armenian pig, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig’s snout, mare’s ass, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won’t even be herding Christian pigs. Now we’ll conclude, for we don’t know the date and don’t own a calendar; the moon’s in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day’s the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our ass!
What a marvelous display of aggressive douchery. It’s actually even better if you read the Sultan’s letter first, because the entire set-up of this letter is to parody the Sultan’s diplomatic language in the original. Wikipedia has some more basic info on the 19th century recovery of the letter BTW, plus the painting that was inspired by the exchange.
IF THEON EVER MEETS HIS MOTHER AGAIN HE WILL BE SEVERELY MENTALLY ILL AND HIS HAIR WILL BE WHITE
JUST LIKE HIS MOTHER
HE WILL MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY HAVE CHANGED THE SAME WAY HIS MOTHER DID AFTER HE WAS TAKEN AND HIS BROTHERS WERE KILLED
AND BOTH OF THEM WILL LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN THEIR THIN LAYERS OF CRIPPLING MADNESS AND WONDER WHO THE OTHER PERSON IS
DON’T TALK TO ME
He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)